About Nick Pinkerton
Nick Pinkerton is an overstated, moronic high school high school student from the southeastern United States. He enjoys listening to Billy Joel, engaging in mindless internet fads, and long, sensual walks on the beach. He can be identified by his hair, which boldly flows outward from his weirdly shaped head. Nick is nearsighted to an atrocious degree; in order to be able to discern a bookshelf from a refrigerator, he is required to wear spectacles, of admirable thickness, at all times. Except for when he sleeps. Or showers. Or in third period when he's just, like, super bored. Mr. Pinkerton greatly prefers cats to dogs, and he owns and cares for one of his own. Akin to all sad, pathetic, lonely high school nerds, Nick enjoys video games, particularly those made by Nintendo in the eighties or nineties. His goals in life are to pass tenth grade English, acquire a career in computers, acquire a wife, acquire a house, acquire three children, acquire two cats, and beat Contra.
About Cool Companies
Have you ever wanted someone far younger and less intelligent than you to summarize the feats and quirks of admirable corporations? Well then, welcome to Cool Companies. A blog curated by an individual who lacks a high school diploma, Cool Companies intends to inform, delight, amuse, bemuse, be a muse, and solicit procrastination across this glorious nation, and perhaps Canada. Each of this blog's thirty-two entries will consist of two-hundred and fifty words and will detail, as mentioned prior on this page. My other intention, my "ulterior motive" of sorts, is to pass my English class. Yes, this weblog, my brainchild, my magnum opus is merely the result of the Virginia Board of Education, as well as the curriculum of my teacher. This may not affect the quality of my writing, but it will affect the quantity.